29 January 2007

While We're on the Topic...

...could we discuss male teen fashion in Zürich?


To all the teen gangster wannabes out there -

You may spray paint gangster rap graffiti on every bus shelter in town.

You may study MTV and act out the rap videos with your friends.

You may even be trying to learn that distinction strut. (And trust me, you've got a ways to go before you actually have rhythm.)

But you are not now, nor will you ever be, a tough talking, badass mutha' from the inner city with your own tale of hardship and survival to tell.

So pull up your pants, go buy some clothes that actually fit you and quit the posing right now. None of us are buying it.


And a special note to the young man I saw walking through the streets of my Swiss town earlier today.

Sean Coombs (Puff Daddy, P. Diddy, whatever) may be able to pull off the dressed all in white super-smooth look. But he is a multimillionaire rap mogul with incredibly hot women dripping from his arms. And he wears that look at clubs, restaurants and other multimillion dollar events in Miami, LA and Las Vegas.

You are most certainly not P. Diddy. It's the middle of the afternoon with no events or gorgeous rap video hotties in sight. And this is Switzerland in January.

By the way, you may want to be more careful about where you sit. Grunge shows up really well on white jeans...

6 comments:

Expat Traveler said...

I justify this look as a target for writing "Idiot" on their forheads. It's just shown with their pants at their knees. At least you know they are youngsters! And yes they'd get beaten up in US if they showed up dressed like that...

JOSE SANCHEZ ZOLLIKER said...

Jajajajja! You're trully funny!

swissmiss said...

So true. I live very close to one of the main drug selling spots in Bern, and every time I see these guys I just smile. Having spent ten years in DC, and not always the nicest parts of DC - the owner of the mom and pop korean I shopped at sometimes was shot in the head in her store - I can only think "Dude, where I come from you'd be dead by breakfast."

This is why I like reading blogs from people newer to Switzerland than I - it just doesn't occur to me to blog this stuff anymore! But it's the best stuff to blog about!

Andreas said...

Smack on!

Imagine the culture shock (I'm Swiss, it's just that prior to '99 I've never lived here) I got when debarking here. Graffiti everywhere (but unlike Amsterdam no dog poo on the sidewalks), totally whitebread dweebs "homies hangin' tuff in da hood", gangsta rap (???) in SwissGerman etc.
OK, Cayenne (FG) isn't an innercity getto, but in the mean streets there (favelas included) you had to eat dindin lying down, what with the bullet hail.
Haven't seen any crack houses round here, figure the only crack they get to see here is of the butt variety.

Oh well, as long as they don't trample the flowerbeds :oP

Kirk said...

Do they all have spiky hair like they do in Basel? And do the girls wear tight white pants and/or white jackets with huge belts and wrestling shoes and/or unlaced high tops?

Global Librarian said...

Yes! OhMyGod! What is that? It's like some bad fashion flashback to the 80's!