Gadget Boy

GLH: I can't get this thing to connect to the network printer.

GL: Sweetie, why would you ever need to print something off the television?

GLH: You never know.

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I am married to a gadget junkie.

GLH now has a brand new batch of gadgets. And he is currently spending a great deal of time running back and forth between the living room and the computer room trying to get all of his gadgets to talk to one another.

Occasionally I hear a stream of obscenities from a distance. I tend to duck my head and ignore those.

Eventually I hear him shout, "Honey, you've got to come here and see this."

I'm not sure exactly how this current bout of gadgetry got so out of control...


It all started when I told him that he could get a flat-screen television as a Christmas gift. But I made it perfectly clear it was to be no larger than 35 inches. I did not want an enormous television dominating my living room.

As soon as we arrived in Switzerland GLH was going from store to store looking at the options, comparing the quality of the screens, checking out the prices. Most evenings had at least some time dedicated to perusing the internet for specs and prices and what is the best of the best, latest and greatest technology.

Before I knew it, the gadget list had expanded to a home media PC. "Because," he said, "this way we can watch Sling Box on a 40-inch screen. Won't that be great?"

Yep, you guessed it. GLH had bumped the size up 5 inches to a 40-inch screen and was slipping in an additional computer. But I had actually expected that. And originally told him a smaller size to allow for the inevitable bump up. The additional computer was a bit of a surprise, but I let it slide.

Then I caught him looking at speakers on the internet.

"What are you doing?"

"We are going to need speakers," he said, trying to sound matter of fact and with no guile. He failed and the guilt was written all over his face.

"Doesn't the television come with speakers?"

"But it won't have surround sound!"

I put my foot down. "We do not need surround sound. And I do not want a bunch of speakers and wires cluttering up the living room. No. Absolutely not."

"But, but, but..." he sputtered.

"No. Put the thought out of your mind. I do not want that."

This past Saturday we once again went back to the electronics store to "buy some cables."

Somehow we ended up in the aisle with all of the speakers. Which was upstairs and on the opposite side of the store from the cables.

"Honey, this is exactly what we need."

"We do not need speakers. You just want them. It's time to learn the difference between need and want."

"No, we really do need them for our home theater system."

I stared at him in disbelief, "Excuse me? Our home theater system? When did that happen?"

After half an hour of pleading and cajoling and negotiating while a salesperson stood just within earshot laughing, I finally laid down the only deal I would accept.

"Alright. But at some stage I am going to want something that you do not. At that time I will pull out this deal we have just made and you will not be able to say no."

It may be a while before I pull out the trump card. But trust me, I will never forget I have it. One day I will put it to use.

And now I hear GLH yelling for me to come see the latest trick he trained his new gadgets to do...