Which I have once again proven I am.
Earlier today I was chopping onions for dinner and the knife slipped a bit. I was pretty amazed at how much blood could pour so quickly out of my finger.
About 45 minutes later, even with constant pressure and keeping my hand up in the air, it became obvious that the bleeding was not going to stop on its own. So GLH and I made our first visit to an emergency room together. (Well, except for visits with Max the Cat to the animal hospital because he once again ate a non-food item. But that doesn't really count.)
After a two minute wait we were in the back, being examined by a nurse. The doctor arrived a couple of minutes later. The cut had to be soaked in a disinfectant that also helped to stop the bleeding. Then an embarrassingly enormous bandage was applied and we were walking out the door.
Almost the entire situation was handled in German, which impressed GLH quite a lot. He didn't know I was that good at "spreckling the Deutsch."
Have to admit, I was impressed with the efficiency. Approximately 40 minutes after walking into the emergency room, we were done and walking back out.
Worst thing about the whole situation?
Our cats seem to think the enormous bandage is present for them. Perhaps a special chew toy? They might need to be kicked out of the bedroom while the bandage is on. Much harder to protect while I am sleeping...